I guess its really true.. Positive energies attract positive energies!
After having a week of absolutely horrid, more negative than negative itself energies ..i used an hour of my precious sleeping time and had a hard think about where i should go from here. And i decided that locking myself up is not going to make me happier than what i am now..which is not happy at all. And if i were to become calculative, then how different would i be compared to the people who made me unhappy??

So i chose the other path. To keep my heart open. And if that means still getting the door slammed right at my face, well at least i can hold my head up high and said i have tried.
and its really liberating.. i woke up still feeling exhausted but a load seems to be lifted off my chest. I have made my decision and i wont look back. which was really great cos there was another negative event that happened in the morning..and if i hadnt have made my decision, i believe i wud have been pushed further down the emotional abyss..

Refusing to let that affect my day, i went about my clinics with a neutral mood..and wow, i had a fantastic day in clinics! 2 exceptionally skilled clinicians with top notch clinical reasoning.. Well, they told us that they would have high expectations of us given this is our last round of clinics before graduation.. and so they would expect from us skills n reasoning of a post-graduate clinician.. but i believe i m going to learn heaps from the both of them! Leo challenged.. or pushed me to manip my patient (lower Tx sp) today.. He asked me if it was my first time manip-ing a pt and i said yes..and he said, well this is the best time to learn and polish my skills. He sat in with me, watched me do it (and of cos i wasnt successful the firs 2 times), he took over, did once (got it of cos!), then asked me to do it again. And i got it this time. well, 2 levels in fact.. hee.. ideally shld be localised to one.. but its okay!! im super duper happy!! cos the pt is quite big and very muscular.. and i was 0% confident of getting it on him.. cos i haven managed to get it successfully on any males before... my skinny ex-supervisor included. So my confidence level is zilch.

And with that newfound confidence and immense happiness, i went about to doing the task i planned with regards to the decision i made last night. i can tell she is surprised..and from the words she said, i know that my gut feeling about her is right. But thats okay. Even if nothing changes. Even if she continues to treat me the same way... it will not bother me as much anymore...because i have already moved on..

i feel happy. :)