i missed you

It has finally arrived. After 5 long months of absence, it has finally decided that it has put me through sufficient torture and worry and its time to stop.

funnny thing is.. im actually going through a pretty rough patch at the moment.. even if it decided to 'forgive' me, now shouldnt be the time, theoretically speaking.

after much deep thought and reflection, i have come to a conclusion..i guess i must have been carrying so much emotional load all these months without knowing.. And its my body's silent way of trying to communicate to me but i was deaf to its cries..
And now.. finally i have let go... i guess the internal turmoil is gone..
i guess i nv did realise how much an emotional burden it was to me..

As sad as i may be.. this is prob the best choice for me.. bcos i have finally found some peace within..

My life is going to hell..Personal life is in a mess, school work is also in a mess..in class but not exactly in class. lost my precious thumb drive yesterday to top it off..
all my work is in there.. my almost completed assignments.. and my previously completely assignments.. all gone. i dun mind about the completed ones.. its the almost due but not submitted ones that really gutted me. i have to redo them.. and i have already forgotten what i had written.

i know i will get through this.. the way i always did in the past.. but the amount of suffering i have to go through..i just hope it will not break me...

because i already feel broken...

World news?

Cant rem when was the last time i clicked on straits time webpage icon.. its been a while. I guess at the moment right now, there is no bigger news than the mess called My Life...

i know im probably going to regret this in years to come when i think back about it. but right now.. at this very moment.. i know this is the right thing to do.

i guess the saying is true.. time and tide waits for no man.

Im thoroughly exhausted but i will not give up.
The finishing line is already in sight.. i can see it from afar..
Everyone is rooting for me..even myself.
It has been a gruelling journey..
A journey of steep learning curve.. and also a journey of self-discovery.
I still may not have all the answers.. nor know exactly everything about what i want in life.. but im definitely closer to the answers than before.
Im cherishing every minute i have left in this place.
SMIL. :)

Start of the week

Woke up feeling so exhausted. stayed in sch till 1am this morn.. and got woken up at 6am by chatting in the house.. Truely and utterly tests the limits of my will power..

although im seriously exhausted, somehow i can still find some strands of strength to condt to go to sch and study. Maybe its because its the final lap already.. whatever the reason is, i hope it will condt to keep me going till my exams r over..pls..

jia you!!

Time is just flying by so quickly..

i have lost track of time.. sunday seems like monday and tuesday seems like friday. It really doesnt matter which day of the week it is anymore.. Most days im in the uni, doesnt matter whether its sunday, monday or tuesday. Home has become just a place where i bathe and sleep. And in case you are wondering, things are fine at home. Minimum interaction = minimal friction. haha no lah its not that bad. I really got heaps of work to do and uni is just a tad more productive than home.. especially when they may have random guests coming to the house and obviously i cant tell them to shut up right? :p

Gave myself a break/day off on friday and went pubbing with some of my classmates at northbridge. Pretty happening place but the DJ sux, as usual. I guess since most pple are drunk by 11pm, there realy isnt any QC loh..Haiz. So pple like me who only has 1-2 drinks max have to suffer. Oh well, at least the company was good. 5 girls n 1 guy. 3 asians n 3 angmohs. Very interesting to see the difference in culture. haha. Then there is this british guy who came over to talk to me.. Flattering but nah not interested. He didnt even have much of the cute british accent left anymore, after staying in aussieland for 6 yrs, or so he said. Even more not interested. haha.

We stayed till about 1.30am, then decided to leave cos 1. music was getting from bad to worse 2. everyone was tired. But the 2 angmoh classmates wanted to condt pubbing so they left for another pub. The rest of us headed home..That was when my fren offered me his car to drive!!! Gosh.. it was exciting and scary at the same time. I had to get him to show me all the various controls first before i started the engine.. Brake on left, accelerator on right. Managed to reach his home in piece, then me n another fren took cab home together. Definitely should do this more often, esp if we are going for the south perth trip at the end of the year.. Which reminds me i better check wat happened to my driver's license. Paid for the renewal but have not received it in the post yet. hmm...hopefully it didnt get stolen or something.

Alrighty, i betta get back to my pain assignment and form Bs. Sian to the max!!!

2 more months!! :)